Oh Game

Just like someone broke his wings…

I stayed in Algerie in November of 2010. I studied plastic arts back dan. Algerie was very inspiring. All the people, sounds, colours...everything very exciting, pure life. I met my husband then. He was a painter in that Algerian village, a very charming, agile, capable young man who was adored by his community. Where he was, there was a good atmosphere too. Now we have been living together, in Belgium, for over ten years. He hardly goes out and doesn't socialize with people. His drawings are not full of colours anymore and he is somehow grumpy and almost boring. Sometimes I think about getting a divorce. I don't understand why he changed so much.

NL

Ik verbleef in november 2010 in Algerije. Ik heb toen plastische kunsten gestudeerd. Algerije was erg inspirerend. Alle mensen, geluiden, kleuren...alles heel spannend, puur leven. Ik heb toen mijn man leren kennen. Hij was een schilder in dat Algerijnse dorp, een zeer charmante, behendige, bekwame jongeman die werd aanbeden door zijn gemeenschap. Waar hij was, hing ook een goede sfeer.

Nu wonen we al meer dan tien jaar samen, in België. Hij gaat nauwelijks de deur uit en gaat niet om met mensen. Zijn tekeningen zitten niet meer vol met kleuren en hij is op de een of andere manier chagrijnig en bijna saai. Soms denk ik erover om te gaan scheiden. Ik begrijp niet waarom hij zo veranderd is.

Beautiful, but you can’t take a misstep

I arrived early, on one Sunday morning and my first impression was great. I found Brussels beautiful, like it was a decor. Like it was a doll house or a city of bricks. My first association was LEGO. When I was young that was expansive toy but my aunt that lived in France brought it for me. I still remember how happy I was. So, similar filling I had when arriving in Brussels. Now. After some years here, you discover that the life here is not a cake with strawberries eider. And you suddenly than remember how playing with LEGO was fantastic but stepping on one, so bearfoot, was always super painful.

SR

Stigao sam rano, jednog nedjeljnog jutra i moj prvi utisak je bio odličan. Meni je Brisel bio prelep, kao da je dekor. Kao da je to bila kuća za lutke ili grad od cigala. Moja prva asocijacija je bila LEGO. Kad sam bio mlad, to je bila velika igračka, ali mi ju je donijela moja tetka koja je živjela u Francuskoj. Još uvijek se sjećam koliko sam bio srećan. Dakle, slično punjenje sam imao pri dolasku u Brisel. Sad. Nakon nekoliko godina provedenih ovdje, otkrivate da život ovdje nije torta sa jagodama. I odjednom se sjetite kako je igranje sa LEGO-om bilo fantastično, ali je zgaziti jedan, tako medvjeđu nogu, uvijek bilo super bolno.

I become another man (tie)

It's great for me here. There is some order and peace here. It is known where you park, when you throw away the garbage, when it's your turn to see the doctor...and when it's your friend's house for a drink. It suits me. Our Balkan laziness has never been my favorite thing. Yes, it was a little difficult for me at first. The hardest thing for me to accept is that I will no longer work as a microbiology researcher. But you know what, as soon as I lowered my expectations to an acceptable level, I became satisfied. For example, I never thought that I would wear sneakers or, God forbid, slippers. Ahahaha. Shoes and a tie. That used to be me.

But even now, with sneakers in my taxi, I have a very nice life.

BO

Ovdje mi je super. Ovdje vlada neki red i mir. Zna se gde parkiraš, kada baciš smeće, kada je tvoj red kod doktora...a kada je kod prijatelja na piće. Odgovara mi. Naša balkanska lenjost nikada mi nije bila omiljena stvar. Da, u početku mi je bilo malo teško. Najteže mi je prihvatiti da više neću raditi kao istraživač mikrobiologije. Ali znate šta, čim sam spustio svoja očekivanja na prihvatljiv nivo, postao sam zadovoljan. Na primjer, nikad nisam mislio da ću obući patike ili, ne daj Bože, papuče. Ahahaha. Cipele i kravata. To sam nekad bio ja.

Ali čak i sada, sa patikama u taksiju, imam veoma lep život.

‘East European cleaning lady’ label

It was a great show that night in KVS and because a friend of mine did a decor I stayed hanging around in a backstage afterword’s. I got into a very interesting conversation with a young man I met there, turns out later, the regisseur of the show. We talked easily over gathers, over tornados, over kern centrals, poetry of Ana Ahmetova, over de crash of Amelia Earhart and the new album of the Tools. Later also about his aunt, about communism, my grandmother, his grandfather, collaboration, pharmaceutics dominancy, his difficulty’s finding coproducers for the next show and my difficulties with finding a job with my accent.

He offered me to help, he will spread a word among his friends … there is always someone hoe needs a capable all-around production and logistics. Or in club of his uncle there were searching for cleaning … ‘not heavy stuff, just tables etc. so no brainer job’…He had a good intension but very strongly develop prejudice as well. He could not see me as an astronaut, I guess…

SR

Bila je to sjajna predstava te večeri u KVS-u i pošto je moj prijatelj uradio dekoraciju, ostao sam da se motam u bekstejdžu. Ušao sam u vrlo zanimljiv razgovor sa mladićem kojeg sam tamo upoznao, kasnije se ispostavilo, direktorom emisije. Lako smo razgovarali o okupljanjima, preko tornada, preko kern centrala, poeziji Ane Ahmetove, o de crashu Amelije Erhart i novom albumu Tools. Kasnije i o njegovoj tetki, o komunizmu, mojoj baki, njegovom djedu, saradnji, farmaceutskoj dominaciji, njegovim poteškoćama u pronalaženju koproducenta za sljedeću emisiju i mojim poteškoćama u pronalaženju posla s mojim naglaskom.

Ponudio mi je da pomognem, pronijet će glas među prijateljima… uvijek se nađe neko kome treba sposobna sveobuhvatna proizvodnja i logistika. Ili se u klubu njegovog ujaka tražilo čišćenje... 'ne teške stvari, samo stolovi itd. pa nema pametnijeg posla'... Imao je dobru namjeru, ali jako je razvijao i predrasude. Nije mogao da me vidi kao astronauta, pretpostavljam...

We are all one river EU

Bilo je to u leto ’91. Rat je tek poceo tada i reka, nasa Drina je stizala sva crvena od Bosne do Srbije. Mi smo uspeli prebeci ka Madjarskoj, pa odatle u nemachku i nakon toga u Juznu Afriku. Tamo smo ostali chetiri godine pre dolaska u Brisel. Tamo su nam bili na povoljniji uslovi. Bilo kako bilo, tu reku nikada necu zaboraviti. U potrazi za prijateljima rasutim po celom svetu uvek sam imala sliku te reke pred ochima. Naposletu to je postao moj dugogodisnji umetnichki projekat ‘sakupljanje reka’. Reke kao svedoci. Reke kao prirodne granice. Reke kao zrtve rata. Ove ti poklanjalm jedan tok. To sam ja – reka ponornica.

SR

It was in the summer of '91. The war had just started then, and the river, our Drina, was flowing all the way from Bosnia to Serbia. We managed to escape to Hungary, and from there to Germany and after that to South Africa. We stayed there for four years before coming to Brussels. They were on more favorable terms for us there. Anyway, I will never forget that river. In search of friends scattered all over the world, I always had the image of that river in front of my eyes. In the end, it became my long-term artistic project 'collecting rivers'. Rivers as witnesses. Rivers as natural boundaries. Rivers as victims of war. I'm giving you one stream of these. It's me - said the sinkhole.

I don’t feel that weight anymore ….

HR

Jedan po jedan teg mi je pao s ledja u zadnjih par godina.

Pa prosto zato sto sam shvatio da to mesto koje meni nedostaje koje zovem ‘kuci’ vise ne postoji. I kuci se promenilo. Puno je vremena proteklo. Zivot ide dalje. I ome sam ja nedostajo ili mu vise ne falim, ili je nedostajanje postalo prihvatljivo.

Taj prvi teg koji padne jeste to: shvatis da sve u glavi.

Drugi teg koji je pao: shvatis da najzad imas dovoljno novca da odletis kuci kad zellis.

Treci teg koji padne jeste shvatanje da ce tvoja deca bolje , lakse ziveti.

Tako da, ja tu tezinu nosim ali je visene osecam.

EN

One weight at a time has fallen off my back over the last couple of years.

Well, simply because I realized that the place I miss that I call 'home' no longer exists. The house has also changed. A lot of time has passed. Life goes on. He either misses me or I don't miss him anymore, or missing him has become acceptable.

That first weight that falls is that: you realize that it's all in your head.

The second weight that fell: you realize that you finally have enough money to fly home when you want.

The third weight that falls is the realization that your children will have a better, easier life.

So yes, I carry that weight, but I feel it hanging.